A Venn Diagram for Jeannie

Happy Easter/Finals

This is a picture of my class on test day.

[The] Kitchen smells.

I am aware that certain foods may smell like other things when they are being cooked.


For example:

Dear Roommate:

Garbage disposal

Dear Roommate:

Let me introduce you to the garbage disposal.

The following are things that do NOT happen when you put food in the disposal
(and then subsequently fail to turn it on):


1. The sink does NOT digest the food

2. The food does not go to another dimension to frolic with its long lost friends & relatives.

3. The food does not disappear into a black hole.

This is actually what happens when you put food in the garbage disposal & don't turn it on:

oh. and also this.

I know this is going to be confusing but 
stick with me...


Here are some fairly simple instructions to follow whilst using this crazy thing:


1. shove food particles in

2. run water

3. turn the garbage disposal switch to "on"

4. wait about 5-10 seconds

5. Turn garbage disposal switch to "off"

THEN shut the water off.

I'll print these out for you so you can reference them PRN.
Sincerely,
Me.

Simple Math

When I moved in I brought with me 8 incredibly tacky green plates.

Roommate brought 2 white & brown plates.

Plus, somehow, we mysteriously also have a blue plate with flowers.

A little kindergarten math tells us that we have...

                                              

So every night, roommate makes dinner & goes up to her room to eat.

Potentially secondary to one or more of the following:

                                  A. she thinks i'm evil.

                                  B. she is scared to be away from her room for 

                                      more than a 3 minute time span.

                                  C. we don't have a table.

One evening post eating my own dinner, i ventured out into the kitchen.

i couldn't help but notice the vacant space where the plates normally hang out.

Hmm...1 plate in my hand...1 plate in the sink...

Accounting for 2 plates i did some simple math...

11 - 2 = 

Dear roommate: 

How on God's green earth do you have 9 plates in your room?

I hope you're having fun with your bugs.

Sincerely,

Me.

This is for real

Veranda is my favorite font.

This is where i live.

It is a townhouse.

It is connected to about 100 other townhouses that look identical.

The arrows show that the apartment on the left is mine.

When we first moved in, it was just me & Lauren.

Then the apartment complex thought it would be awesome to give us a friend.

So they placed us with a third roommate.

But then Lauren moved out.

:(

And i was left with the third roommate.

She lives at the top.

I live at the bottom.

We have great conversations.

She is very insightful.

I am excited to share some of her thoughts of life & my thoughts of her.

This is us.

I am not tan. or tall.

[illustration for comparison purposes only]

She can speak spanish. (& English)

She has red hair.

She smells weird most of the time.

She really likes to watch BET & Lifetime.

And X-Files.

All of her classes are online so she pretty much never leaves the townhouse.