Saturday, August 11, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
If only ironing were actually ironic.
As if laundry weren't already the worst of all the chores (Sorting, washing, drying, hanging, folding, putting away...oh my God im practically falling asleep just typing about it)
I have recently been informed that as a newly declared grown-up, i am legally required to add ironing to my list of laundry-related chores.
Ironing is super awful for a lot of reasons...
But you know what?
It does us absolutely no good to focus on the negatives all the time.
Life can be so full of negativity.
So...
For this just once...
Let us (try to) focus on the positives... of ironing.
For starters, you can catch up on your TV whilst you iron (multitasking is always a bonus in my book)
[Especially a good idea if you're really into shows like: Dexter, Breaking Bad, or Game of Thrones where it really isnt that important to pay attention to what's going on.]
Next, ironing does in fact make your clothes look more professional
e.g.
Ironing...can apparently be extremely fun
(extreme being the operative word here).
'Oh no,' you're thinking to yourself, this post has just taken a serious turn for the sarcastic.
No little friends - it has not.
Let me introduce to you, probably by the same people who invented Yarn Bombing, (look for more on that later in "things you didn't know where things") ...
EXTREME IRONING!
im being totally serious.
In the words of Anastasia Steele, "Oh my..."
With a quickness, i scrambled to learn more, because, now what with not having to study on the weekends & all, I've got insane amounts of free time for ridiculous recreational activities!
And can you think of a better way to improve such a mundane task as ironing?
No. You can not.
Good gravy there's a Wikipedia about it.
(Also known as EI !!!!!!!!!!!!)
Legend has it, that a man by the name of Phil Shaw, now affectionately known as "Steam," (!!!) wanted to climb a mountain, but also was burdened with the task (probably by his wife) of ironing his pants.
Well, like any good creationist before him, "Steam" decided to combine the two activities...& ta-DAH!
Bravo Mr. Shaw.
Fast forward to ... yep you guessed it... GERMANY! Where the first Extreme Ironing WORLD Championships were held in 2002.
5 categories including:
Spoiler alert:
Great Britain's 2 teams take 1st & 2nd place.
All that being said, i would like to finish up with a few of the most wonderful EI examples out there...& urge you (with caution of course) to give it a go!
What's the worst that can happen?
You wind up with some neatly pressed pants for your spelunking adventure?
I have recently been informed that as a newly declared grown-up, i am legally required to add ironing to my list of laundry-related chores.
Ironing is super awful for a lot of reasons...
But you know what?
It does us absolutely no good to focus on the negatives all the time.
Life can be so full of negativity.
So...
For this just once...
Let us (try to) focus on the positives... of ironing.
For starters, you can catch up on your TV whilst you iron (multitasking is always a bonus in my book)
[Especially a good idea if you're really into shows like: Dexter, Breaking Bad, or Game of Thrones where it really isnt that important to pay attention to what's going on.]
Next, ironing does in fact make your clothes look more professional
e.g.
[Oh hipsters, thank you so much for being excellent examples of what not to do in so many situations.]
Third, ironing is the sincerest form of flattery...oh, no, that's not right.
Well, last, but you know its not least
(because otherwise how else would i have earned the award for the "world's second most long winded individual?")
(extreme being the operative word here).
'Oh no,' you're thinking to yourself, this post has just taken a serious turn for the sarcastic.
No little friends - it has not.
Let me introduce to you, probably by the same people who invented Yarn Bombing, (look for more on that later in "things you didn't know where things") ...
EXTREME IRONING!
im being totally serious.
In the words of Anastasia Steele, "Oh my..."
With a quickness, i scrambled to learn more, because, now what with not having to study on the weekends & all, I've got insane amounts of free time for ridiculous recreational activities!
And can you think of a better way to improve such a mundane task as ironing?
No. You can not.
Good gravy there's a Wikipedia about it.
(Also known as EI !!!!!!!!!!!!)
Legend has it, that a man by the name of Phil Shaw, now affectionately known as "Steam," (!!!) wanted to climb a mountain, but also was burdened with the task (probably by his wife) of ironing his pants.
Well, like any good creationist before him, "Steam" decided to combine the two activities...& ta-DAH!
Bravo Mr. Shaw.
Fast forward to ... yep you guessed it... GERMANY! Where the first Extreme Ironing WORLD Championships were held in 2002.
5 categories including:
Spoiler alert:
Great Britain's 2 teams take 1st & 2nd place.
Figures.
All that being said, i would like to finish up with a few of the most wonderful EI examples out there...& urge you (with caution of course) to give it a go!
What's the worst that can happen?
You wind up with some neatly pressed pants for your spelunking adventure?
Ok...extreme enough. i guess
...And then what happened?
His arm got stuck between two boulders?
His arm got stuck between two boulders?
Nicely done sir.
This looks like it could escalate into an ironing emergency very quickly
Wrong. Totally wrong.
Good work.
Lovely use of anchoring here.
(I have no idea what I'm talking about)
Nice hat.
Team mean steam clean.
This might actually be illegal.
I'm not really sure.
Weak.
Perfect form. 10.0 (or 16.4 or whatever)
Buddy system.
Sweet Jesus who is going to pull your chute?
But, really, how effective is this?
Oh you know I always save the best for last.
As quickly as possible, somebody please petition for this to be added to the Olympic Games...
There is clearly WAY more skill involved with EI than curling.
Isn't it ironic?
Its over.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Avocados = The Most Versatile Fruit-vegetables around.
AVOCADO
AVOCADOABLE
AVOCADON'T
AVOCADOMESTIC
AVOCADOCTOR
AVOCADOG
AVOCADOWNLOADING
AVOCADOORMAN
AVOCADOUCHEBAG
Monday, July 23, 2012
The "Next Blog" Button
Until the other day I had never noticed the "next blog button" up at the top there.
perhaps you are not as funny as you think you are.
Perhaps, you should view some other blogs & see just where you fall on the funny scale."
To which my self replied,
"Ok, I can get down with that."
So I started clicking through these things... (which I know you're going to do after you're done reading this blog unless of course you are sitting there in your underwear & you're already late for work & you just had to read my latest blog post before rushing into your day)
...let me just save you the trouble by showing you a few of my favs:
And I thought to myself,
"Self, perhaps you are not as funny as you think you are.
Perhaps, you should view some other blogs & see just where you fall on the funny scale."
To which my self replied,
"Ok, I can get down with that."
So I started clicking through these things... (which I know you're going to do after you're done reading this blog unless of course you are sitting there in your underwear & you're already late for work & you just had to read my latest blog post before rushing into your day)
...let me just save you the trouble by showing you a few of my favs:
Oh boy!
A blog about the life of a stay at home mom!
She must be so busy...
I'm willing to bet a all of my money that the author of this blog is neither one of those people.
And - Oh! your dog had surgery?
Or wait...is the author possibly the dog?
Thought provoking.
What?!
As part of a "sneak peak" into the US, you just up & decide to have a baby?
I can tell you at LEAST 100 million things you can do in the US that are more fun than having a baby.
Hint: Everything.
OooHoo.
Marriage blog.
Everyone is certainly gripping the edges of their theoretical seats to see if Jeff farted instead of doing the dishes & Joyce is planning on wearing a T-Shirt to bed.
I like flowers too.
And the farmers' (farmer's?) market(s).
I'm down with this one.
Lipstick doesn't belong on your cheek.
Come on.
Even I know that.
 |
Ken Lee-The Journal.
The authority on all things boring.
(PS Ken Lee-The, don't think we didn't notice that awkward hyphen)
Yes friends,
A blog dedicated to tracking the infamous double L.
Woo. Hoo.
PS no one has cared since 1999.
I gotta say,
Some of them are pret-ty good
Why'd ya stop in 2010 guy?
Tidal locking,
A romantical blog for fat chinese people in love.
How many fat Chinese people are there even?
Probably 2.
Hat City,
You really seriously to get your knitting under control
You are just 'sew' clever.
RAWR
(yarn monster - for those of you who still cant follow my trains of thoughts)
Next up ladies & gentleman,
A blog about 50 year olds dating.
Ew.
Just. Ew.
At first I thought,
wow thats a pretty cute name for a blog...
but its really JUST a weather blog.
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDRA!!!!
I'm sorry what?
is this a sex blog?
Exactly how many adventures have you had whilst making a baby?
But not so far off the grid that you cant blog.
Right Janice?
All i see here is "observations of gastrocnemius"
(that's the calf muscle for you non-PT people)
A creepy Spanish blog about creepy children?
Someone is addicted to cheese...
The next 4 are only included because there were 4 in a ROW about STAMPING.
Seriously?
Yes.
Seriously.
And finally...
Yes.
So anyway.
Then i said to myself,
"Self,
You are the funniest.
Well done."