My life on the LIRR.

So the past few weeks have been quite an adventure. 
(I know you've missed me!)

Since ive been gone from the web, I have become ridiculously proficient at taking: 
bus / cab, train, subway, 93 stairs, subway, block, block, avenue... to work, & then doing the reverse to home. 


Not to brag or anything, but I've gotten it down to a stealthy 72 minutes on my best run.




The LIRR and I (oh by the way it stands for Long Island Rail Road in case youre from the south which you probably are since im pretty good friends with & know 8/9 of my followers) have had a few arguments, namely related to my inability to stay awake once boarding. 

But in the end, we were able to work out an agreement & now I do a 20 minute power nap for half of the ride & then try my best to read & study for the back half of the  trip.


At any rate, the best thing that could happen to the LIRR, happened last week.


The LIRR announced the expansion of their very own 
"Quiet Cars Program." 


Is this what i think it is? 


Why...yes it is.

The rules specifically designate the 1st & last cars on the rush hour trains to be the QUIET CARS...hellooo first grade version of public transit!

Trust me, I really didnt need any more persuasion at this point. 


The idea of it being "inappropriate" to engage me in conversation whilst riding public transit could not be more appealing...or could it?

You probably did not take the time to read all of that...no bother, ive highlighted the most important part for you...

Umm hey. 

Did you see that?

It says that those who are non-compliant will be given "Shh" cards.

Immediate freak out.

What do they look like? How loud do I actually have to be to get one? Is there a limit to how many I can get? If i get one, can i reciprocally give it out to someone else? How many are there? Are there different versions? Do they apply to animals? What if there is a fire? What if youre snoring & you just dont realize it? Can everyone just have one to hold up at people whenever? Why not just install beds?

Ok...get it together.

In a brief moment of clarity - I decided it would be best to do a little research about this "Shh" card to determine if it would even be worth the effort of earning...

So...naturally, I Googled it.

This is what i found:

I mean seriously?

You have the power to tell every single obnoxious New Yorker to shut their pie hole & this is what you come up with?

Dont worry, I have already requested a meeting with the NY MTA...until then, I have been brainstorming really hard on some alternative ideas to the presently implemented "Shh" card.

Let me just say, sometimes, I surprise myself with the expansiveness of my creativity.

I now present to you, some better "Shh!" Cards:

OK I'm done now.

Just kidding.

One more.

Ok thats really it.

I'll let you know how my meeting with the MTA goes.

Til later...cat wink!