Dad: Hey so do you want us to throw you a party for your graduation?
Me: No, not really.
Dad: Well we're probably going to do it anyway & invite all of our friends.
Me: Oh great, I hope I can make it.
So, true to form, my Dad has become a super-diva about planning this party.
It has morphed from a "stop by & say hey" type of party to, "Stop by & eat a 3 course meal, have a few drinks, reminisce about my daughter's life for the past 25 years, play monopoly, do a 1000 piece jig saw puzzle, & cure cancer" type of party.
[So i typed "boring party" into Google & this was the 2nd image it spit out. Ummm. What?]
This morning, there was a form sitting on the table that looked a lot like a W-2, or W-4, or 10-99 or whatever, & a sticky note asking me to fill out sections 2a & 3.
Crap.
Naturally I immediately brainstormed of all the things I needed to do in order to avoid dealing with this form for as long as possible.
Upon further inspection, it appeared to actually be a form related to cake.
Then it dawned on me, this would most likely be be the cake for "my" party.
Before we go any further into this tale you should probably know that decision making is not my strong suit in any realm; however, this morning's walnut, date, & raisin oatmeal must have been making me feeling adventurous because I decided that today, conquering this form was potentially manageable.
Ok, lets do (try) this:
Step 1:
Oh right, step 1 doesn't matter because I was only asked to fill out 2a. & 3. Done. Perfect.
Step 2a Cake flavor:
White (ok maybe) or
Chocolate (only available in some incomprehensible measurements. no. chocolate is out), or
marble (which one would think could potentially be the solution to making everyone happy about cake flavor but it totally isnt so ew no thank you marble please go back to being a countertop style no one wants to eat you in a cake flavor.)
White it is.
Yessssssssss. Half way done.
Step 3:
Take a look at these icing options:
Take a look at these icing options:
Step 3 is tricky like one of those homework problems from 7th grade when the teacher says, "oh you guys, I was feeling totally nice so i only gave you one homework problem for tonight," come to find out, that problem has like 37 parts to it...yep thanks a lot step 3.
"Choose Whipped Icing or But-R-Creme icing." Wait a second. But-R-Creme? (i know im not the resident icing expert here but im pretty sure its suppose to be spelled butter cream?) So tell me, is But-R-Creme better than But-P-Creme? likely for sure...but maybe not as good as But-X-Creme? & what about But-O-Creme.
O jeez. I can't be bothered with all of these Butt puns...I've got decisions to make.
The fact that the But-R-creme colors start with "asparagus green" should tip you off that something isnt quite right with But-R-Creme...and "Sunrise Gold?" "Amaryllis Yellow?"
It is very clear to me that a man named all of the whipped frosting colors and a woman named all of the But-R-creme colors & Although hot pink is very tempting, the thought of green icing potentially tasting like asparagus or even holiday is too much of a gamble for me.
Whipped it is.
Moving right along.
White or Chocolate?
Now this is really when I started to feel the weight of the decision making process.
Is it socially acceptable to have the same flavor icing as cake?
Will I be breaking an unspoken code?
If i pick chocolate icing, will the colors look all dark & weird?
Is that racist?
And then, as I headed towards an endless downward spiral of confusion, bad decisions, & tacky cake...White.
Im just gonna do it. White on white and i dont even care no looking back.
Booyah! Decision making!!!
Next.
Color choices for the border & flower colors.
Have you ever taken statistics? I have.
8 color choices for each of 2 place to put color? anybody?
| nr |
| where n is the number of things to choose from, and you choose r of them (Repetition allowed, order matters) |
Let me help...oh you got it? That's right...there are
64 flower / border combinations.
My brain was literally 2 seconds away from giving up & going into total decision making meltdown mode when luckily I made partial eye roll back to step 1.
Forget everything.
Problem solved.
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