Friday, March 30, 2012

Fancy Place Settings Are Illogical.



According to fancy people, setting the table is suppose to be really confusing.
E.g.


We were not super fancy (or fancy at all) in my house growing up, but we were fancy enough to slap a cloth knapkin (executive decision that "napkin" deserves a silent "k" at the beginning) & some utensils on the table every night for dinner.

HOWEVER

When forcing me to set the table, try as they might, my parents could never get me to place the utensils "correctly." To them, I was probably just being a silly kid, focusing the majority of my attention on Rugrats, Silly Putty, and Troll dolls; but to me, there was something much more legit happening here.
See, the thing I want you to notice about the above place setting (and any other Google image search for place setting) is that the spoon & knife are always side by side. Let me explain to you why this is ridiculous.

For starters, knives (even buttery ones) can be dangerous, so the knife is very obviously the evil character in this situation.



Second, the spoon is beautiful and curvy, and has gorgeous, long brown hair (much like myself). 
She also has a sassy attitude.


Even though she is sassy, and can totally take care of herself, sometimes the beautiful spoon is the damsel in distress / she cant help being terrorized by the evil knife.



The fork (pretty much goes without saying) is the super handsome knight in shining armor...


...Always available to rescue the beautiful spoon from the evil knife.



And then the fork and spoon high five and are best friends forever.



In conclusion, it makes absolutely no logical sense that the spoon should ever be placed next to the knife. Ever.

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